camilleasamom@blogspot.com

I really wanted to do something that would help Hamilton to build his testimony of Jesus Christ and to make connections with other LDS youth and I just wanted him to have an overall positive experience. I had a difficult time getting him enrolled in EFY but after weeks of pushing the refresh button on my computer (each time I went by my desk) I was finally able to get a spot that opened up in the registration. For months leading up to the EFY Moab, Hamilton complained (in typical fashion) about how stupid it was going to be and how he didn't want to hang out with "weird Mormon kids." Needless to say, when I dropped him off on Monday he wasn't thrilled to be going.  Half way through the week of EFY Moab I receive a text from Hamilton saying, "this camp is lame," and that "there are too many devotionals" and that one of the female leaders was a "Karen" (that means loser). Since receiving the text from him I have been really upset because th...

I am really tired today. It is Monday and it was a long weekend. Actually all weekends are long for me. I find the chaos and the kids constant desire for electronics exhausting. This weekend we had Patti and Chris Harline over for dinner. We had dinner and then played Cover Your Assets. While they  were here Harrison said that  he didn't feel well. Well he feel asleep during scripture on the front room floor and I left him there around 10:30 pm. and went to bed. Around 12:30  he came into my room informed by that he had thrown up, tired to clean it up and then got into my shower. Exhausted I stayed in bed and figured I would deal with the mess in the morning.  Saturday morning Hamilton and I had a call with a "recruiter" for preparing to set himself to be recruited in high school as a soccer player. At noon Hamilton went driving with Scott Moss. Hamilton kicks back when I ask him to go driving so I have enlisted the help of his young men's leaders. He will go with th...

Hamilton had a school project stolen by a classmate and the end of the semester is a couple of days away. He asked me if I would be willing to come and get him after school (instead of riding the bus home)  so he could stay at school to restart the project. He stayed 4 hours after school got out in order to start and finish the project to bring his grade back up to an “A.” I am proud of him and the fact that he is responsible for his grades. He has become a good responsible young man. I am looking forward to see the man that he becomes! 

I have realized that for the last 15 years I have not documented my life. I have been so busy with being a mother and getting everything done that I haven't taken the time (I honestly feel like I haven't had the time and have been running around like a crazy person for all that time). I realize that there are moments in my kids life or things they have done that I have simply forgotten. As Hamilton is now 15 and has just a couple years left living at home I thought that I should start so that one day when they are all gone I will remember being a mother. Motherhood has been very difficult for me. I yell. I scream. I swear and sometimes I have not been the best example to my children. But I can  honestly say that I have given EVERYTHING that I have to my kids. I go to bed tired. I wake up tired. I put my children's needs always before my  own... and  maybe in hindsight that hasn't been the best choice. Much of the time I feel broken and maybe that is because I have negle...